You’d think for someone who has spent the better part of the last two week sitting on my ass on the couch, I could have squeezed out a damn blog post. I wrote a couple in my head but they never made it to the computer. I was off work until January 9th and then going back to work knocked me on my ass. I was exhausted. And the bleeding got a little worse. Not New Year’s Day worse, but a little bit worse. So the last week, I’ve mostly spent fretting. I just want the bleeding to stop. While we were assured that the baby was fine, I would just feel so much more confident if the damn bleeding would end. I ended up taking Friday off of last week too — more because I was emotionally spent than anything else. I’m looking forward to Thursday, as we’re meeting with the OB who is a Maternal/Fetal Medicine Specialist. I’m hoping to get to see baby again and be reassured that the little critter is still clapping and happy in there. I’m also terrified that they’ll have a look and find a dead baby. Does this ever get any better??
We’ve also started “coming out”, if you will, to more people. Lots of people already know, but they are fairly close friends and family (or internet strangers). We told my Nana on Saturday and she was the last immediate family member, so now, my dad is free to tell the rest of the extended family members as he sees them. And I told my boss today too — which was huge. It’s not the most family-friendly place to work so I was nervous about what she might say. But I felt I needed to tell her, given all the time I’ve missed from work recently (I didn’t have to deal with her in the last two weeks as she was away) and since I may need to miss more. It went quite well and she was actually quite supportive. While it’s really great that all these people know, every time I tell someone, all I can think is that this is one more person I’ll have to un-tell if there is a miscarriage.
Trying to remain positive, but some days it’s hard. Damn bleeding has taken my joy away!
This made me smile, so I’ll share it with you. We set up Bubee’s play yard shortly after we got it, just to see it. We realized it needed to come down when this happened….
“Hey, this is a pretty swanky new bed you got me!”
“Perfect for a little snooze.. very roomy”
Think we’ll have jealousy issues much?