Four years ago

Four years ago today, I was a beautiful princess.  I had the most beautiful ivory dress and a tiara.  It was such a fun day.  It was a great party.  We had been together for 8 years so it was never about “starting a life together”… which quite frankly, drove me crazy because it was like some people needed a marriage certificate to validate our relationship.  It was about having a big bash and being a princess for a day.

It’s bittersweet to think of that day 4 years ago because it means that it’s been almost 4 years since we started trying to make a family.  We officially started in the following January, but we were no longer really preventing.

Four years of our life and nothing but heartache and debt to show for it.  But our marriage has somehow survived.  Not an easy feat.  I don’t know how couples survive this when they marry after a short period of courting (courting?  suddenly I’m 80?).  That 8 year base allowed us to grow up together and figure out who we were.

Flash forward 4 years and I’m laid up on the couch with a sore belly waiting for my “reward  sushi” and Gatorade.  Happy anniversary to me.

Retrieval went better than last time.  They gave me more drugs so I was much more comfortable.. and teary.  I started to cry near the end out of gratitude.  I was so thankful for a chance to try again.  I don’t know what tomorrow’s fertilization report will bring.  We got 13 eggs.  Not as many as there were follicles and not as many as last time, but I just hope they are good and some fertilize.

P.s.  blogging on the iPad SUCKS!!  Between the autocorrect and the screen freezing when I scroll up!  christ!!!


8 responses to “Four years ago

  • Alicia

    I just commented on Cristy’s blog about marriage and infertility … it’s a theme these days. Yes, any marriage that survives this has a motherload of love and strength. I’m so glad that you have another chance to try this again as well. Fingers crossed that this is the last time you are waiting for “reward sushi” and that you have a whole lot more to be grateful for in the weeks to come. Hugs.

  • SM

    November 16 makes five years for us and April marks six years of marriage. How we have survived this I will never know. Thinking of you and hoping for the best this cycle!

  • kendall

    I was thinking about you all day…I’m glad the retrieval went well and I hope they’re all good ones 🙂 Keep me posted.

    And Happy Anniversary!

  • Daryl

    Happy anniversary! I hope those 13 eggs bring you some good luck and happy news!

  • Alicia

    AND I love the pic of your socks! Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!!! Take care friend!

  • marwil

    Happy anniversary, I hope your man takes care of you after retrieval and that you can celebrate your relationship in a way even if it wasn’t meant to be like this at all. It’s tough. I’m hoping for a good fertilisation report for you guys and that the next year bring more happiness than heartbreak.

  • Anna

    Happy anniversary! Hoping all 13 fertilize!!

  • psychsarah

    It was a wonderful day-most fun I’ve ever had at a wedding! It is a testament to you and C that you’ve remained strong through the years of struggle.

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