We’re getting another chance, and I’m terrified. I’m excited and happy, but at the same time detached a bit and afraid to let myself believe that things might go differently.
We had our frozen transfer on March 8 and everything went perfectly. Our blast was hatching and everything went off without a hitch. The two week wait ensued and I felt pregnant. I waited out the entire 14 days before peeing on a stick because I was confident that I was pregnant and I was terrified to be wrong.
I wasn’t wrong. We finally went for the beta at 15dp5dt and it was 1664. Two days later it was 3899. I wasn’t wrong.
Now I wait. Our first scan is still over two weeks away. The clinic is doing them a bit later than they did when we were pregnant with Abby because I guess they want to make sure they see what they want to see. But the wait is killing me! I’ve got a few symptoms — some sore boobs from time to time, some waves of nausea and some peeing. I’m waiting for the symptoms to kick into high gear and really give me some comfort.
I haven’t had any dreams. By this time with Abby, I had dreamt about her. I was convinced she was a girl. I haven’t dreamt about Bubba. I’ve dreamt about checking pantyliners for blood. Yeah. Guess we know where my subconscious is at.
Some days I’m confident and forward-looking and hopeful.. other days I’m just plain terrified. I guess maybe that’s normal after all that we’ve been through.
None-the-less, I don’t want to forget a moment of this pregnancy. I want to savour every last, anxious bit.