6 weeks (Previously Private)

We’re getting another chance, and I’m terrified.  I’m excited and happy, but at the same time detached a bit and afraid to let myself believe that things might go differently.

We had our frozen transfer on March 8 and everything went perfectly.  Our blast was hatching and  everything went off without a hitch.  The two week wait ensued and I felt pregnant.  I waited out the entire 14 days before peeing on a stick because I was confident that I was pregnant and I was terrified to be wrong.

I wasn’t wrong.  We finally went for the beta at 15dp5dt and it was 1664.  Two days later it was 3899.  I wasn’t wrong.

Now I wait.  Our first scan is still over two weeks away.  The clinic is doing them a bit later than they did when we were pregnant with Abby because I guess they want to make sure they see what they want to see.  But the wait is killing me!  I’ve got a few symptoms — some sore boobs from time to time, some waves of nausea and some peeing.  I’m waiting for the symptoms to kick into high gear and really give me some comfort.

I haven’t had any dreams.  By this time with Abby, I had dreamt about her.  I was convinced she was a girl.  I haven’t dreamt about Bubba.  I’ve dreamt about checking pantyliners for blood.  Yeah.  Guess we know where my subconscious is at.

Some days I’m confident and forward-looking and hopeful.. other days I’m just plain terrified.  I guess maybe that’s normal after all that we’ve been through.

None-the-less, I don’t want to forget a moment of this pregnancy. I want to savour every last, anxious bit.


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