When will the healing start? (Previously Private)

I was at work today and a co-worker asked me how I was feeling.  I proceeded to explain that I was never feeling unwell, and that it was a bleed that had me off work.  She then told me that her daughter was in her 5th month of pregnancy and was going like crazy, doing all this painting at her house and she was trying to convince her to take it easy and slow down.

Why are all pregnancy announcements such a kick in the ribs?  I don’t know this person, nor do I really care.  But what I do know is that they were just married in the last year… and now they are blissfully pregnant.  Painting away and behaving like a normal person… while I panicked today at gas pains and wondered if something bad was happening!

When I was pregnant the first time around, I remember that my bitterness and jealousy softened a bit.  This time… not so much.  When will it get better?  When will it stop hurting so much?  What if infertility and pregnancy loss has fucked me up forever?!

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One response to “When will the healing start? (Previously Private)

  • Cristy

    Honestly, for each person it’s different, but I think the key will be getting through all the difficult periods and hitting some milestones. Even then, comments like this aren’t going to help. This announcement was more of a sucker punch than anything else as she’s comparing her daughter’s pregnancy (apples) to your pregnancy (oranges). Blank stares, sighs and eye-rolls are encouraged in cases like this.

    Anyway, I don’t know the answer. But what I do know is you’re doing the best you can to get through this period. Ignore ignorant comments and know I’m holding my breath with you.

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