Disclaimer: Nothing is wrong. Bubba is perfect.
We had our 20 week scan on Monday — the big one. Funny thing about this scan, that despite all my fears, it never would have occurred to me to worry about this scan before a friend of mine had her 20 week scan go horribly wrong in February. I would have been one of those people who’s primary interest would have been the goods in between the legs (even though I already knew). But because of her experience with her little guy and ultimately losing him because of heart problems, I was a little freaked out. Same thing happened with the IPS testing. I never worried about that at all. At all. It didn’t even cross my radar that he could have down syndrome. When the nurse called with my results and said it was negative, I didn’t even know what that meant. I said “that’s good,right?”. And it was very good. We have like a 1:59 000 odds of Bubba having downs.
However, everything with the scan went well. They still need to get some images of his heart because he was hiding it in the shadows of my belly button. But they said they got 90% of what they were looking for and everything looks great. Cue sigh of relief. One more milestone passed. Too boot, cervix is nice and long (5.6cm), BP is good and I haven’t failed my GD test yet. Yet. I’ll be shocked if I don’t fail the next one though. But right now, everything is okay.
And then I got… The Package. Filled with maternity ward pre-registration forms, a booklet on preparing for childbirth and your new baby and a booklet on breastfeeding. Cue freaking the fuck out! I said to the OB “geez, this is serious, it’s like you actually think I might have a baby”… or something to that effect. I’m sure she thinks I’m nuts (also exacerbated but my ADHD moment of noticing and complementing that her toenails matched her royal blue blouse perfectly). And we had to book our pre-registration tour of the labour and delivery ward! Yes, it’s not until September but we had to book it!! Like people having a baby! It was a lot.
And the piece de resistance? The icing on the the freak out cake? My friend texted me about organizing a baby shower!
Head explody everywhere.
Too real. I can’t handle it! I complied with providing a date range, but I refuse to have any more of this crazy future planning until after viability. That’s it! That’s all my doubting heart can handle.