For all intents and purposes, Bubba is now full-term. FULL FUCKING TERM!!! He did as his momma asked, and stayed put until 37 weeks. There’s still that doubting part of me that is cautious in being overly optimistic (old
crazy habits die hard), knowing that bad things can still happen, but he’s ready to be born now!
I have very mixed feelings as we near the end of this time together. I’m beyond excited to meet him and find out what he looks like and snuggle him in my arms. And I’m feeling ready-ish. I feel like I’ve got all the things he *needs* (totally spoiled baby – even bought him a wipes warmer) and everything is set up, etc. So I feel just about as prepared as one can feel. I just want him here safe and sound. But there is a part of me who doesn’t want to stop being pregnant. I’ve been lucky — pregnancy has been good to me. Despite all my anxieties and waiting for the other shoe to drop, things have went very well. And I’ve loved being pregnant. I love being able to feel Bubba moving about and giving me kicks and wiggles. I’ve enjoyed watching/feeling him respond to my belly rubs, playing music and reading to him. It’s a very special gift to be able to grow a life in your body and it never ceases to amaze me. I don’t know if I’ll get another opportunity so it’s like I need/want to savour every last moment.
We had our check up today and Bubba continues to grow on his same trajectory… making him a whopping 8 lbs, 7 oz. That’s the only reason I want him out sooner rather than later — I don’t want him to get so big that I can’t give vaginal delivery a try. The only thing that matters is that he makes his arrival safely, but I really don’t want a c-section. My physician said they will let me go to 11 lbs without a scheduled c-section so we’ve got some space… but Madam Cervix measured at 3cm today, so I wonder how much longer Bubba plans to keep cooking. He’s happy as a clam in there. Scored a perfect 8/8 on his bio-physical exam.
I’m trying to just go with the flow and trust that the “little” guy will make his appearance when the time is right. He’s done well so far, so I’ve got to trust him.
In other news, we did a maternity photo shoot yesterday. It was another notch on the normal belt to tick off. My friend did them and she did an awesome job. I’m so glad to have the opportunity to capture these moments and so grateful to her for doing them!