Due Date and Other Things

It’s here.  My estimated due date.  I’m completely shocked that we’re going past the due date.  I was absolutely convinced Bubba would be early.. convinced!  And now, his legacy is that he will be late… like his momma.  I’m always late.  I have horrible time management — actually it’s more like time estimation — things take longer than I think they will and that’s what makes me late.  I’ll blame it on bad math.  I digress.  40 weeks pregnant and no baby exiting the ute yet.

I had my appointment on Thursday and I was 1.5cm dilated.  The doc did a stretch and sweep and by Friday night, I was losing more gobs of my mucus plug.  But no other progress really.  Lots of discomfort but no strong contractions.  Sigh.  I just want to meet my son.  I just want him to be here safe and sound.  The doc said they won’t induce me just because he’s a big baby, they’ll just let me go on my own or do a c-section if he gets too big.  I’m assuming they’ll induce at some point because he’s overdue, but I didn’t ask that question.  Sometimes it takes me a bit to process the information and then I think of the questions after my time is up!  I go back on Thursday — I told her I didn’t want to see her again unless she was delivering my baby.  The good news is, she’s on Labour & Delivery duty this week, so if Bubba hurries the heck up, maybe we’ll have her deliver him.  (Just to clarify — our care was shared between two MFMs — one male and one female — in case I’ve referred to the doc as “he” in the past).

***

And now for the “other things”.  I don’t talk about much else other than infertility and pregnancy on this blog, but I need to talk about what else has been going on.  My dad is in the hospital.  He’s been living with us for 2 years — it was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while he was finishing up radiation treatment for lung cancer, but somehow a round of lung cancer, a round of colon cancer and a round of rheumatoid arthritis later, he’s still here.  He’s been unwell for the last 2-3 weeks with lots of fatigue and low energy — been sleeping excessively.  He had been to the doctor for blood and X-ray but was waiting to follow up next week at his physical.  His doctor is 1.5 hours away where he usually lives.  Anyways, on Tuesday night, he passed out in our hallway and we ended up calling 911 to have him taken to hospital.  There’s a lot of details that I won’t go into so as not to bore you, but they don’t know what’s wrong.  He’s had good days and bad days but they have not been able to provide a diagnosis.  We’ve been at the hospital everyday.  Today, they called at 6:30am and told me he had a rough night and was found wandering the halls disoriented.  When we visited today, he claimed to be fine “if the nurses would just leave him alone” and didn’t have any recollection of being disoriented through the night.  He had very low oxygen and they were concerned about a blood clot so they’ve been giving him Heparin.  Today, he refused the heparin.  And he has refused the CT scan they want to do on his chest and his head.  And despite not being himself, he’s allowed to make these decisions because he hasn’t been declared incompetent.  The nurses were fantastic in explaining things to us, but basically, they’ll just make him comfortable and if he dies, he dies.  So I went in and read him the riot act.  40 weeks pregnant and basically yelling at my father that he needs to do what the doctors tell him or he will die and never meet his grandson.  When we left, he had agreed to the heparin and the CT scan, but who knows what will happen when we are not there.  Because he also told the nurses not to call us with any updates.  I get that he has rights and I know you have to be fairly sick to be declared incompetent, but this is ridiculous.  If he were to get a diagnosis of something serious and decided not to pursue treatment because maybe survival rates were low, I appreciate that.  But to not do the testing, because you think the nurses are bothering you and because the CT scan gunk made you sick?  These are not the decisions of a rational man.

I’m angry that this is happening.  It’s all falling to me because no one else is local.  My energy should be solely focussed on my son right now.  I had a mini-meltdown when we left the hospital today — because I’m terrified of the stress hurting my baby.  I just want to relax and concentrate on having a healthy baby.  I don’t want daily trips to the house of sick people.  I don’t want phone calls at the wee hours of the morning.  This just sucks.  The happiest time of our lives is being marred by dad being sick.

So that’s the other stuff.  I have lots of real life peeps who read my blog and I just wanted to let everyone know what’s been going on.  And to vent and bitch a little.  Thanks for “listening”.

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8 responses to “Due Date and Other Things

  • clwalchevill

    First off, congratulations for hitting this milestone!!! Hoping that Bubba decides to come so and you can avoid induction/C-section. Still, you made it this far, and that’s huge!

    I’m so sorry about your dad. We go through a similar battle with my FIL regarding medical decisions. For some reason he believes he’s perfectly fine even though he’s bit feeling well. Stubbornness is definitely a bane to deal with. Hoping they are able to diagnose him with something that is easily treatable. In the meantime, thinking of you

  • missconception

    I’m so sorry. That all sounds so stressful. I really hope things get easier with your dad so you can end your pregnancy thinking about your son. I will be thinking of you all.

  • Kate

    I would feel the same way, and I’m sorry the timing of your dad’s situation is what it is. You really deserve to be able to be 100% focused on the birth of your son right now. It’s hard to say that and not feel selfish, but it’s just true. I hope things work out so that you don’t have that added stressor in such a happy and exciting time! Truth is, you guys are about to be in survival mode for the next few weeks (at best) or even months. Maybe it’s time to call in the reinforcements to step up and help with dad?
    Thinking of you! Knowing there’s nothing that can steal the thunder of what is about to happen for you:)

  • marwil

    Really hope things get moving soon and you can avoid induction. C’mon baby, time to meet the world!

    Sorry to hear about your dad, that must be so stressful and not what you need right now. I hope they can figure out the cause soon and treat him properly.

  • Daryl

    The situation with your dad reminds me a lot of what we went through with my FIL this summer. It’s very stressful, and I can’t imagine having to deal with that on the cusp of your son’s arrival. I hope they can find and treat the problem so you can all welcome Bubba soon!

  • psychsarah

    Been thinking of you, C, Bubba and your dad all weekend. I get the frustration of a late baby-as you know, my little man was so cozy he stayed in almost an extra two weeks. I suspect you won’t be “allowed” to go that long (as I had to fight it out with the consulting OB about induction two days before he was born) and I hope he doesn’t force your hand! Take care of you. Your miracle will be here soon. 🙂

  • Shara

    Sending you big, big hugs M.

    Sending you all healthy vibes and hoping they figure out a diagnosis for your Dad. Try not to worry about the added stress affecting baby- they’re tough cookies and Bubba can handle it! Take care of yourself, and let us know if you guys need any help with anything.

  • nonsequiturchica

    First off, congrats on hitting 40 weeks!!

    I’m sorry to hear about your dad. When we should be focusing on birth and getting ready to be a parent we don’t need to also be stressing about the health of our parents! I know that you are the only local person, but can you call someone and play the 40 weeks pregnant/new mother card?

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