Enjoy

Happy New Year!

Last year, in a wine-induced haze, I wrote this post. I was so defeated by all that 2012 had thrown at me. So many times, just ready to give up. But somehow, there was still some fight in me.  And 2013 proved to be the year where my strength paid off.  It was “my” year.  In so many ways, it was good to us.  Not that the year wasn’t without it’s challenges — but that’s just life, I suppose.  But everything seemed so much more manageable, knowing that a life was growing inside me.  It’s really quite amazing how much energy infertility and grief takes from you… how difficult it makes everything in your life.  For me, anyways.

Every year since 2009, I have picked a word for the year.

2009 – Relax (because if I just relax, I’ll get pregnant — and it was chosen after a stressful but wonderful year of wedding planning.)

2010 – Patience (because all good things come to those who wait and I will get pregnant when the time is right)

2011 – Hope (because I still had some)

2012 – Grateful (because I was finally pregnant and happy — see above post for how this word became about something else)

2013 – Strength (because I wasn’t done fighting and had survived the worst year of my life)

This year, my word is “enjoy”.  I have no plan for this year, no aspirations, no goals.  I just want to be.  I want to take every day and every moment as it comes and enjoy my son and my husband — the two most important people in my life.

 

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