Written March 2012
A word about anonymity — we’re not shy in talking about our infertility. If anyone gives a damn enough to ask questions, we’re more than happy to answer them. And I’m not shy about telling it like it is and educating people on “infertility etiquette”. I choose to blog anonymously, because the world is small and we both have very public jobs. If you stumble upon this blog and happen to figure out who I am, I ask you for your respect in keeping my little blog world anonymous.
Us: We have been married since October 2008 after 1 year of dating and 7 years of living common-law. We are soulmates. Our experience with infertility and now loss, has put our relationship through the wringer. It’s been very difficult at times, but ultimately (and at the risk of sounding cliche) it has made us stronger. It has made us stronger because it has made each of us grow as individuals. We live in Southwestern Ontario, Canada in our modest backsplit that you will find, at any given time, covered in cat hair from the two, bestest kitties in the world.
Me: “M”. I’m 34 years old. I’m a social worker — I genuinely feel compassion for my clients and give my job 110% because I believe in the people I help and their ability to survive and become whole again. I’m crafty — I love scrapbooking, card-making, jewellery making and aspire to knit more than a scarf one day. I’m a perfectionist, a planner, a social convenor, an extrovert. Most recently, I am a mom. I don’t get to raise my daughter and be a parent to her, but (and I’m still struggling with wrapping my head around what this means) I am still a mom. Having Abby reaffirmed everything I already knew — I am meant to be a mother.
Him: “C”. He’s 36 years old. He’s a teacher who can’t imagine doing anything else — even though teaching was his ‘plan b’ once upon a time. He’s a sports nut. He’s a knower of tonnes of random things with a mild (??) addiction to Wiki.pedia and Goo.gle. He’s a man with an internal GPS — if he wasn’t a teacher, he’d probably drive a taxi. He’s the kindest, most loving husband a girl could ask for. He puts up with a lot of my bullshit and would do anything to make me happy. He knows me better than anyone else and most of the time, better than I know myself. Kids are naturally drawn to him and I know he will be an amazing father.